No, I will not have any CoCo with my Melky

MC

This guy!

Before the news of the trade came in, I was actually thinking about where I was when the news of the Carlos Beltran trade happened. Oh, those were different times. And then the Royals twitter page or some affiliate drops the bombshell that you’re all aware of. Like the Freddy Sanchez trade of 2009, I was facepalm-ing, freaking out, and texting my friends to get their pitchforks ready. I’ve calmed down though. I’ve had a chance to look at some of his stats:

2010: 509 PA, 4 HR, 7 SB, 8.3 BB%, 12.6 K%, .317 OBP, 79 wRC+, -1.0 WAR

2011: 706 PA, 18 HR, 20 SB, 5.0 BB%, 13.3 K%, .339 OBP, 118 wRC+, 4.2 WAR

Let’s just make this clear now: sucks at defense. I don’t want to give anyone the impression I think he’s going to be as defensively sound as Torres or faceplant Rowand. Just imagine if Beltran is out there with him! AND if Burrell was out there too! It’d be so water buffalo, you’d start to hear jokes about the Flintstones.

WB

2 of the 3 Giants OFers?

Defense aside, let’s look at what else this trade changes:

Gary Brown: With Melky’s team control ending after the 2012 season, as long as GBizzle from CSU Fullerton is ready to go, he’ll be the starting CF in 2013 and Andres Torres will be there as his mentor. No Melky blocking him! Unless Melky goes nuts again then Melky will get moved to a corner spot. That’s for another year though.

The Lineup: As of right now if Bochy had to roll something out it’d be: CF Cabrera, 2B Sanchez, 3B Panda, C Posey, LF Belt, 1B Huff, RF Nate, SS Crawford, 9 spot.

The Rotation: Timmy, Matty, MadBum, Vogey, Barry McHighSocks. Give Surkamp a season in AAA.

The Team Salary: Reports are that we’ll have saved $1MM dollars when all is said and done for 2012. Yes, I see you putting your pinky to your mouth a la Dr. Evil. But we also have saved probably around $13MM on the CF position just from not signing Coco Crisp. Whom could that “saved money” be used for? Hmmm….

CB

Hey guyz! I heard you got a leadoff bat!

The Royals: I’ve heard they can use a kid named “Lorenzo Cain” who is obviously related to our own Matt Cain in CF now. Jonathan Sanchez would be their #3 guy, I’ve heard. Other than that, whatever.

CF Sweepstakes: If your name is Grady Sizemore, Coco Crisp, Yoenis Cespedes, I’m sorry but we will not be overpaying for you this winter. Check back next year though and maybe we’ll have a spot for you.

Cody Ross/Andres Torres: Sounds like they’re going to non-tender Andres and try to sign him on the cheap. That would mean Cody Ross is just about done as a San Francisco Giant. It’s OK, Cody: I still do your little home run skip just about everywhere I go, especially when I go down the stairs.

Apparently Melky has found the key to success has been staying in shape. That’s good. Bochy says Melky’s good because he “crosses the plate and we need that.” Oh, Bruce. It must be the jetlag. I bet even Sabean was all “WTF, BB!” In the end, this was a trade that had to happen with one of the pitchers and it happened to be Sanchez. We’ll hope we get the copy of the 2011 Melky and then we’ll go from there. There are splits I could dive into last year but reading is hard. We’ve got all winter to dive into splits.

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